Cable TV- DVR, HD, Premium, this package that package, do you really need it? If you must have it go with the bare minimum. I certainly can live without ESPN-OchoCinco in low grade HD. (Yes Ladies and Gentlemen ESPN is NOT broadcast in the high grade HD. AND, read up on HD it is a rip off). I would be better served coaching my kids’ soccer team or taking a walk with the dog.
Eating Out- Why do we eat out? Does it really save time to load the vehicle, drive to the restaurant, wait for a table, order overpriced beer and soft drinks, reheated frozen dishes, tip the lousy service and leave feeling poor, fat and broke? The “atmosphere” in my back yard with the kids yelling, the grill smoking and a cooler full of cheap beer is what I call Saturday night.
Cell Phones-3G/4G, Mobile Web, mobile who the hell cares. Really, level with me, does the app for the level really come in handy for hanging your wife’s pictures or did you eye ball it anyways? I for one don’t need a brain tumor or an app for it.
Vehicles-VXLT SUPER LEATHER FUEL GUZZLER. Do me a favor. Figure how many hours are in one week - 168. Now figure how many hours you drive a week - 8. Now take the number of hours per week driven and divide by the number hours in a week 8/168 = 4.7%, 4.7% of my time is in a vehicle. And 56 hours per week is spent sleeping, which is 33% of my time. So tell me why people will pay $50,000 for a vehicle and $300 on a bed?!?!?!
Water- To me this is self-explanatory. I can go anywhere, and I mean anywhere and get water why would I buy it? I pay $50 a month to have it pumped to my house already. When corporations begin selling air these people will buy it. Kinda sad.
Credit Cards/Debit Cards- Let me get this straight. I give you my money, you give me this card, I swipe the card and you charge me for using the card. But, if I don’t give you my money and I don’t swipe the card, you can’t charge me to use the card? I’ll pay cash you keep your deceptively expensive and thieving convenience.
Gadgets- Why do I need anything other than a spoon to stir my eggs or a knife to cut my onions or tissues to wipe my glasses? Spray on water proofing? Quick Chops? Mighty putty? Give me a break. I have a Swiss army knife and duct tape. F*ck Off!
Pop/Soda/Soft Drinks- 1.7 billion servings per day. That is coca cola alone. If you don’t understand why this is dumb see purchasing water above. Make some sun tea and save the sugar water for the lab rats.
Magazines/Periodicals- We have internet, you already pay for the smart phone and you still get newspapers and magazines in the mail? Each periodical you “recycle” (B*ll Sh*t, I saw it in your trash) is like throwing away cash or letting the bank who issued your debit card throw away your cash.
Holidays/Birthdays, Etc.- Does Johnny really need a 4’ x 4’ sheet cake with this month’s favorite Disney creation spray painted on it and all of the toys to match each time he gets closer to having to pay his own taxes? Surely we can find better ways to show our little ones we love them and more than once a year?
Satellite Radio- Really, once again I am not going to pay to have something pumped into my vehicle to use for half of that 4% of my life we calculated above.
Name Brands- I’ll bend the rules we are laying out on this one. I like decent things. BUT. BUT. I will shop for bargains and if the generic is as suitable as the name brand and many cases it is and/or even exceeds name brand standards, I’ll go generic. Seriously, broccoli is broccoli, bleach is bleach, paper towels are paper towels, toilet cleaner is toilet cleaner.
Mortgage/Excessive Rent- If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. If it won’t resell, don’t buy it. If has more bedrooms than Buckingham Palace it might be over kill. Just because you were pre-approved for a million dollar mortgage don’t mean you need a million dollar mortgage. And, like everything else, don’t forget the fees and taxes because those are part of the monthly milking too.
Make Up- Looking nice is one thing. Having the $8.00/hour “expert” at the Clinique counter sell it to you doesn’t make it work better.
Grooming- My wife learned how to cut hair, I cut my son’s hair. My wife handles my daughter’s hair. That is a minimum of $550.00 a year we don’t give away.
Clothing- This should be occasion appropriate. The nice clothes should be presentable; the casual clothes should be presentable. One should always be clean. But people who would pay $200 for jeans are plain loony. Are they stitched with some sort of NASA developed thread that will never wear out? Oh, that scary looking old lady on Desperate Housewives wore them; well then by all means get 5 pairs! I hope you can gather the sarcasm dripping off the last statement.
Gym Memberships- There are certainly sidewalks where you live. Use them, you have to pay the taxes if you do or don’t, might as well take advantage. If you are fortunate enough to live where there aren’t sidewalks, well then push mow your yard.
We as a culture have gotten lazy and dumb. These things don’t make our lives better. They make us fat, ignorant and broke. Do yourself a favor keep your money and learn how to take care of yourselves because the corporate spoon fed junk we seem to think we need is only killing us, making our children dumb and leaving us with empty bank accounts and a broken culture.
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