Words that sound dirty but really are not...

Lubrication
Saucy
Pianist
Shuttlecock
Dado
Bangkok
Aural
Cunning Linguist
Jaculate
Blow Hole
Uranus
Ram Rod
Mount
Angina
Fallacious
Seamen
Cockles
Penal Colony
Masticate
Organism
Phuket

Summer

So I am passed out on the deck...


My wife is pissed...the kids are screaming, the grill is smoking, the yard is half mowed,

She looks at me sternly and says...

You're a bum...you're a bum...do you have goals....????

I said...yep

I want to lose enough weight to fit on commercial aircraft





When life gets you down...have dreams and drink Shlitz.